I spit on you... *haauughch-tuu!*

Tuesday, the Universe took great pleasure in reminding me that I'm not one of the big kids on the playground ... and that it's most definitely *not* my turn on the monkey bars by pushing me off, spitting in my face, and making me bleed my own blood.


It hurt. A lot. I might've even said a bad word... but then I stopped, collected myself, and promptly got angry that I was bleeding through my new Christmas sock. That was followed shortly by my calm zen jumping out of the car without warning and doing the chinese fire drill... One of those moments, when time slows down and and the entire universe comes crashing in on top of your head... when an entire days worth of asstasticness snowballed into a colossal hairball and barfed itself up onto the carpet.

Okay, so you're thinking "Ow!" but it's just a stupid stubbed toe right?

No, it was the beginning of THE END OF THE WORLD, and NOBODY LOVED ME... and I was going to GROW OLD AND DIE ALONE. With *hundreds* of cats.  I know that I don't have much in life to complain about. So the fact that I wanted to curl up in a ball on the carpet and dissolve into tears over a stupid stubbed toe, just made me feel guilty that I was being so pathetic about the whole thing... which needless to say, didn't really make me feel any better either.

So I did the only thing I could think of, and called my Dad... and had a little cry. "Aiiii stuBBDed myyyyyyyy toooooOOoooe *snurfleuppagus*" After he figured out that I was more upset than injured he did the best job of being my Dad and making me laugh through my tears like he's always been able to.


Thanks Dad, thanks for being there to talk through my sniffles and hiccups, about all the silly little things in the world, and laugh with me over bleeding on the carpet for the first time in almost 30 years. We certainly were well trained growing up ;)

How to say "I wove you" in puppy dog

It's Valentines day, and I find myself literally surrounded by loving puppy dogs. If they could talk, I'm sure they would have plenty to say.  I'm sure it would be along the lines of "Oh how I love youuuooouuuoouuuuu" ...let me show you all the ways...


That extra secret ingredient that makes everything taste so much better? It isn't love... it's dog hair. And while it may be a condiment in this house, it also works nights as a fashion designer that can help you accessorize *every* outfit you own.  And for that little something extra special, you should try the faux fur look, there's nothing quite like a basset hound wrapped around you!

I will pour myself horizontally into your lap or nudge my head under your arm when I think you aren't paying attention.

I will patiently sit and watch you, even when I don't know what you're doing just because I want to be with you. The fact that you're in the kitchen preparing something that *might* be food, has nothing to do with it.

I will help you clean up around the house, you know food on the floor... pizza on the table... roast beef on that pan that was *totally* going to fall onto the floor... I'm just sayin'

I will let you blame stinky farts on me, and put on my best "What?!?" face when everyone looks at me instead of you.

I will leave you little reminders of how much I love you, kind of like sticky notes... except well I can't write, so I hope you know what I mean when you find one of my dog hairs.

I will not get jealous of that black boxy thing that takes up your entire lap, I still fit.

When you've done something stupid... I will be morally supportive, and I will console you by licking whatever bare skin I can reach, even if it's your butt crack. I love you that much.

And just in case you still don't know how much I love you, I'll give you "The ear kiss"... after a big ole drink of water.

Love can't be explained, merely felt with the heart

"The distance between two hearts is not an obstacle... rather a beautiful reminder of just how strong true love can be..."

So then I was thinking...

How much love can one heart hold?
It can't, that's why you have to continually give as much love as you can to those around you.

The way of the warrior

It really got me thinking when Gabrielle first started following the way of love with Eli, and even though she was taking a different path, she still felt that she was supposed to be with Xena... as all rivers run to the sea, and I just thought it was so cool that although Gabrielle had essentially rejected Xena's way of living so to speak, Xena made the commitment that she would fight for Gabrielle. It was the line "Lucky you don't need to" - basically you've got me, I'll always be here for you.

Then the roles were reversed, when Xena went in to rescue them from Caesars soldiers... and was all Gabrielle needs me to be the best warrior I can be. After they were captured, and talking in their cell, and Xena is apologizing for making Gabrielle turn from her way, she says "Xena, I had a choice, I could choose love, or I could watch my best friend die, I chose friendship" She says it with such certainty and such a calm aura around her, its as if it was the only thing in the world that mattered.

Finally when I recently watched the episode Chakram, when Xena doesn't remember anything of her former self, or that she is a living legend of a warrior... and Gabrielle gets her sais, and says to Eli that she'll do whatever it takes to protect Xena. They've come full circle, and yet they never left, their love for one another is constant throughout.

I guess love really is the strongest word, stronger even than courage.

Love...

“I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you.”

How do you know this exists? You don't. All you have to go on is someone that you clicked with more than you thought possible, that experience... no matter how brief, gives you hope that there is someone out there looking for you too.

Ack I'm having a moment!

I got a promo code to send a card to my Mom for Mothers' Day, so I went to the Kodak site uploaded a pic and found a cute saying to include inside. I went through all the billing options, filled in my promo code etc... and totally not even thinking about it entered my address as the ship to instead of mom's. *doh* Sorry mom, you're gonna get this one late too. Don't worry though, Dad has come through again this year and is picking up some flowers and chocolate from your delinquent children ;o) I reminded him that Cadbury is slave-free for you too.



I'm pretty sure that this is the picture of me insisting that I could "do it myself" when my short little arms could only reach one paddle at a time. According to my Dad I rowed Mom in circles for quite awhile before she was finally able to take over. Hehe I would imagine that circles in a dinghy would be even worse than one step forward and two steps back. Thanks for not barfing on me Mom.

Thanks for being my Mom, lots of people have adopted me over the course of my travels, but I will only ever have one Mom. There was a story about a group of 8 year olds who were asked various questions about their Moms... one of my favorites was "Why is she your Mom, and not somebody elses'"? The answer was "Because she likes me a lot more than other people's Moms like me."

Right, we'll just go with that then.

Nothing says I've been thinking of you like...

A portable toilet!!!

Yes that is 3 exclamation marks. A friend of mine is going through a bit of a tough time right now, her grandmother recently had a heart attack. Somehow in the midst of all that she got to thinking about the trailer that I will be moving into soon... and got me a portable toilet so that I will not have to get dressed and run into the house and pee. (Assuming I'm sleeping in the buff) If that doesn't say I was thinking about you I don't know what does ;o)