Thursday, August 10, 2017

Homeownership adventure number 1!

It was one of those conversations...

Her: "I think this is blowing hot air"

me: *dubious* "I don't think it's turned on... It's probably just the fan blowing through it from the other room and picking up hot air from under the house..."

Her: "I dunno, it's really warm"

me: "okay" *shrugs* "but I'm not really sure what to do about it" :/

*muttering to self* Well, just because you don't think something is on, doesn't mean it isn't... and your off the cuff response doesn't entirely make sense, why would there be hot air under the house? The sun doesn't even shine down there, so it should actually be cooler air... *sigh* I should take a look at it... it's not like she's saying this just to be difficult... she's just as hot and cranky as you are.

She left for rehearsal and I started taking the cover off of the 50's era heating vent. 



I discovered to my alarm that the thing under the vent actually was quite warm!  



Deeper and deeper into it I went...



...undoing things and taking them apart until I found what looked to be an excessively large pilot light... and damn was it ever throwing off a whole lotta heat!!!



Further investigation revealed a munched label above two square poles that looked like once upon a time were valves but they seemed to be missing handles...



*panic*

*run to shop for vice grips*

*continue staring at it, as if it will come to me and I will somehow know what to do to turn it off*

I took a deep breath and decided that since it hadn't lit anything on fire yet it was probably okay for now, and dialed my emergency on-call Civil Engineer...

me: "Hi Mom? Is Dad there?" ...

Mom: "Hi sweetie, your father is driving, what's up?"

me: "Well there's this heater thing that looks like it's from Granny's era, and I want to turn it off... I mean I guess it hasn't blown up or anything yet so it's okay for now, but I was hoping Dad could take a look at it"

Mom: "We're just coming through the S-bend now, so we'll be home in about 5 minutes, can you call us on the land-line?"

me: *relieved* "Sure no problem, I'll take some pictures and email them to you so you can see what I'm talking about"

Six or so odd pictures with the dog thrown in for scale and about 10 minutes later I was talking to my Dad.  With him on the phone I tried gripping the handle poles with a pair of vice grips but all that did was cause the pilot light to flicker and an alarming bit of orange to jump into it.

Dad: Alright, well your next option is that there *should* be an emergency shut off valve near the appliance.

me: Sooooo since I can't see anything like that from up here, that means it's under the house right? *scrunched up look*

Dad: Yep, most likely, it should be on the gas line leading to the heater.

me: *groans* alright, I'm going in...



If I don't call you back in 20 minutes something under the house got me... I'll take my phone with me, whatever good that'll do from under the house :/

Dad: *chuckles* Alright, be careful

It's 84 degrees in the house at this point, but I have no idea what I'm going to find underneath it... so I suit up.  Shirt w/sleeves and thick jeans which I taped to my runners.  I jammed my phone in my pocket, grabbed a can of Raid, the vice-grips and a flashlight and descended into the crawl space.

*cautious breath*

It took a handful of seconds for me to equalize my nerves and calm my imagination enough not to just jump right back out again, but once I did I realized it didn't smell as bad as I had feared, and there weren't hoards of creepy crawlies all over the place like an Indiana Jones movie.  I saw one or two desiccated insect corpses, but that was about it...  I calmed down, spotted the heater line and dragged myself over to it... literally.

Sure enough, just like Dad said there was a shut-off valve on the gas line. It turned like a charm and within seconds the pilot light was blissfully silent.

I scrambled out, and called my parents to let them know I was still alive 



...while simultaneously stripping down and promised to call them back after a quick shower.

Dad: So it worked did it?

me: Yes! *grins*

Dad: You sound pretty pleased with yourself ;)

me: Yeeeessssss *grins even bigger*

Dad: And so you should!  Now you need to book someone to come out and service it and tell you how it works, preferably in the off season before you need it.

me: It's so hot right now, I can't even *think* of turning it back on, but yeah I will thanks!