Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Your local friendly shop of little horrors

First she pressure washed my gums, right off my teeth.

Then came the miniature meat hooks, which she scraped between my teeth... mostly... except for that little bit right *there* yeah the reason it doesn't sound like that scratchy scrapey almost chalkboard sound is because that's what is left of my gum, note the tearing flesh sound... and the, yep there you go, see that part that was still attached, it bleeds... when you hit red you've gone too far. Just so y'know.

Alright alright stop *sobs* I'll tell you anything you want to know!!!

We've interrupted this interrogation... to bring you the handsome dentist!

The skies opened up and the angels sang, and one of them spoke to me! He gently poked and prodded and then in a sparkle of pixie dust was gone *dreamy sigh*... what bleeding gums?

"So I'm just going to check your measurements..."

I can tell you that! I'm ~5'8 and about a 36D, now just put the fish hook down cause I'm not gonna be your 170lb sucker!

Yeah the translation for "check your measurements" is I'm just going to jam this thing into the last thread of what's left of your gums, and see if I can make you sneeze by tickling your brain.

Now to finish up we're just going to do a light sanding... but would you like the buff and polish as well? Well, actually we have this new polish in. We paint it on, you wait 15 minutes and then just brush it off! It's so convenient.

So simple!

28 hours later after miraculously not drowning in my own saliva, I was finally able to scrub off the wax varathane. *not impressed* I will gladly take the two minutes of suffocating foam trays any day over that ick.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Come back here and take what's coming to ya! I'll bite your legs off!

After watching the bassett hound slide around the floor on her magic carpet ears, I think I know where the inspiration for the Black Knight in Monty Python came from...

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Nom nom nom

I'll give you three guesses as to what I'm doing... and the first two don't count!

Like sunshine burning off that low morning fog

I had the following exchange the other night with a friend of mine, and belatedly realized you really don't need any other reason to do something!

me:  *s* for reals you wanna come visit me?
my friend YES!!!! you make me happy! :) 
me:  *grins*

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Its the little things that matter

"I know it doesn't sound like much, but my kids are wearing matching socks again" :)

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

How to say "I wove you" in puppy dog

It's Valentines day, and I find myself literally surrounded by loving puppy dogs. If they could talk, I'm sure they would have plenty to say.  I'm sure it would be along the lines of "Oh how I love youuuooouuuoouuuuu" ...let me show you all the ways...

That extra secret ingredient that makes everything taste so much better? It isn't love... it's dog hair. And while it may be a condiment in this house, it also works nights as a fashion designer that can help you accessorize *every* outfit you own.  And for that little something extra special, you should try the faux fur look, there's nothing quite like a basset hound wrapped around you!

I will pour myself horizontally into your lap or nudge my head under your arm when I think you aren't paying attention.

I will patiently sit and watch you, even when I don't know what you're doing just because I want to be with you. The fact that you're in the kitchen preparing something that *might* be food, has nothing to do with it.

I will help you clean up around the house, you know food on the floor... pizza on the table... roast beef on that pan that was *totally* going to fall onto the floor... I'm just sayin'

I will let you blame stinky farts on me, and put on my best "What?!?" face when everyone looks at me instead of you.

I will leave you little reminders of how much I love you, kind of like sticky notes... except well I can't write, so I hope you know what I mean when you find one of my dog hairs.

I will not get jealous of that black boxy thing that takes up your entire lap, I still fit.

When you've done something stupid... I will be morally supportive, and I will console you by licking whatever bare skin I can reach, even if it's your butt crack. I love you that much.

And just in case you still don't know how much I love you, I'll give you "The ear kiss"... after a big ole drink of water.


So apparently this morning I didn't actually put the fresh coffee grounds into the coffee maker... In my defense I was pouring into a black travel mug, I thought the last little bit looked funny, but couldn't put my finger on it until I poured the sugar in and could still see it sinking all the way to the bottom.

Note to self: it works wayyyy more better when you put the freshly ground coffee *in* to the coffee maker.

Thank goodness for tea bags...

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

So simple... so why does it take so long?

One of the things we don't usually learn, is how to accept a hand from someone... even when we need it. We get most of the way there, then pull back with a "No really, I'm okay... but thanks" and a smile.

Even when we're not.

Oftentimes only our best friends hear the intimate details of how things are really going, and sometimes only because they ask twice. You know, that deceivingly simple question, asked with a subtle change in tone and that look that says "I know you better than that, so don't bullshit me... but I'm letting you start".

Well sometimes I don't know someone well enough to ask that second time, but I wish I could make things a little bit easier for them... Sometimes I just want to give them a reason to smile... and every once in awhile it's for purely selfish reasons like not wanting to eat lunch by myself.

No matter the case, I've been trying to find ways of giving or helping people out in such a way that they don't feel like they owe me something.

Why am I telling you all this? Well because the other day I experienced the coolest thing! With a gracious smile the simple phrase "I will accept your charity and I thank you for it"... You grasped a hand held out in friendship, and shared a piece of your character with me that I shall never forget.

I may never tell you, that you've taught me something I may never be able to repay you for. I came here with knowledge but I will leave with understanding.

Thank you so much


Usually I ignore Valentines day, but having my friend's daughter wish me happy Valentines day in her early morning Cindy-Lou voice just melted my little heart...

Happy Valentines Day everyone!

*loves* and *hugs* ... oh and *big sloppy wet puppy dog kisses*

Thursday, February 09, 2012

The curse of the ages


You don't have to wish that "One day I'll have kids like me"... I already do, think I left my own bowl at work the other day and it's driving me crazy!

Sent... While running around ;)

Tuesday, February 07, 2012


Absolute fricken genius!

I love the article, but this site also has some brilliant baby sleep positions that anyone who has tried to sleep in the same bed as a baby... can relate to.

If you can't be good, be great!

It's always awesome when I learn that something I've done my entire life... often times things that made me that weird outlier dot on some graph, are scientifically 'discovered' to be a great thing to do!

Everything he mentioned is why I don't like watching the news, I never have... I'd much rather hear about all the things that make us, as a community of human beings incredible.  There are so many inspiring people around us every day, and by surrounding yourself with those people you can create your own average to raise yourself up to.
 "When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves." -William Arthur Ward

I, am an anomaly unlike anyone you've ever met before... that's just part of what makes me amazing ;)

Sunday, February 05, 2012

LA the city of lights - The Beginning

I hardly know where to begin the tale of my pilgrimmage to Xenacon 2012. I think partly because doing so means I'm writing the conclusion... and the conclusion means you've come to the end.

I don't want it to be over. But here they are, my collection of thoughts

Flying into LA at night was amazing, the city spilled out over the hills in all directions flowing densely through the valleys. In some places the lights were crystal clear, and in others they were twinkling as if you were looking at them through salt water mixed with fresh. The smog was so dense, it turned the plane window into a portal to another time and place.  
The highways, byways and freeways pulsed to the distinct rhythm of the city, two continuously flowing streams of red and white blood cells.

As a testament to how busy LA is, I finally witnessed Einstein's explanation of perspective in relation to moving bodies. Nearing the airport we passed another plane traveling in the opposite direction, and although we were traveling around 500 mph at the time it felt like we were barely moving, and it looked like the other plane was doing mach 10... it was soooo fast!

Absolutely incredible! I'm totally the kid who left nose and finger prints on the window...

So this is what that feels like...

I held off posting this while I was at the Xena-con, and it's been so crazy this last week I hadn't even looked at it. But reading it again tonight, I still feel the need to post it... so here it is.

Last Friday, at 2:30 we were all summoned to a meeting in the training room.  There was no hint or indication as to why... shortly after everyone was settled the President began.

He told of the journey that had begun long before many of us joined the company. He told of the struggles they faced being a smaller company filling a specialized niche in our industry, and of the plateau we had reached and thus far been unable to ascend above.  He said they had been searching for a partner to back us up and allow us to spread our wings, and that with a little luck we would soar higher than we ever could have climbed.

Of course none of it was quite like that, in fact none of it was even as it first sounded...

It took four intelligent, pointed questions to determine that we are no longer working for a private family owned business... In fact this partner is not just the majority shareholder, they are now the sole shareholder and own the company we work for body, brand and soul.

If he had turned into Willy Wonka and announced that the entire training room was actually a glass elevator, and then hit the subterranean button I don't think I could have felt more like the floor had been pulled out from under me, or like my stomach was any further from my abdomen.

Judging by the rest of the room I wasn't the only one in free fall.

They didn't say that there were no plans or discussions regarding shutting down the company... it was simply presented as a "Here's how it is..." then everyone with the remotest inkling of what was going on left for our biggest most important tradeshow of the year.

In the void left by "Nothing can be confirmed or denied..." rumor and speculation escalated exponentially to fill the need to talk about what had just happened.

The one thing that was consistent across all departments was "Well you know, when a larger company takes over a smaller one like ours is the first one to go..."

The brightest glimmer of reassurance came from the Vernon Star on Monday... Yeah, that's right we had to wait all weekend for a quote from the CFO... in our tiny little local newspaper:

"We remain committed to the facility and the workforce there," he said, adding that no changes are anticipated"
That was all most of us needed to hear and it probably would have made the weekend a little less stressful. Instead many of us got the advice from friends and loved ones to dig out and polish up their resume, and get a head start on the job search.

I think the one thing, that while it doesn't surprise me... definitely disappoints me, is that the last few years many employees sucked it up and toughed it out, but to find that the raises we didn't get went towards solvency so that the company could be sold for more than a little profit sucks donkey. The fact that there is now no longer any thanks owed or any implied debt monetary or otherwise... just shattered my last remaining misplaced belief in loyalty to an employer.

The slate which has been wiped clean with the sale feels like a swift kick in the ass with a frozen boot, and for the time being has left the acrid tang of a bitten tongue in my mouth... the kind you chomp on for a week after every time you have something to eat.

All of this isn't to say they haven't been a fantastic company to work for. But while people may forget what you did, and they will usually misquote what you said. They will always remember how you made them feel.

Only time, will reveal the true intentions of our new employer, and I hope they fall closer to the awesome end on the scale of scuttlebutt and scandelosa.

I know you're not supposed to write about your work on your blog, as it may lead to dire consequences such as being fired. But I find myself in the Vancouver airport, both excited for the upcoming Xena convention and mildly concerned, that maybe the money I've spent could be more useful in the case that I come back to find that my position is... redundant, or that they have an entire team of highly trained professionals to do what I do...

Firing or not, some things just need to written about.