Monday, February 09, 2015

Well that was exciting

Let's go for a soak I said, relax a little I said...

Half way in to our twenty minutes of bubbles we hear shattering glass and the sound of a screen door being wrenched off it's hinges.

We look at each other like is that seriously happening? Is someone actually breaking into a place in the middle of the complex? Are you kidding me?!?!

Aaaaand we're sitting in the hot tub. Awesome.

The ninja has the presence of mind to tell me to call 911. It took forrrrreeeeeever like a dream in slow motion to dial the number, and then time caught up *zap!* like an elastic band back to reality as I explained to the dispatcher we were witnessing a break in.

I gave her the address, described what we saw and heard... she asked me to stay on the line with her until dispatch arrived. Yep, not a problem... aaand no sooner than that...

*wuppa* *wuppa* *wuppa*

Damn! That's some response time! Well that's good to know! Buuuuut now we're sitting in the hot tub in the helicopters spot light... and I'm still talking to dispatch.

me: So uh, should we get out of the hot tub? (Nothing like being on the phone in a tub of water, safety first you know ;).
Dispatch: No, stay there, they know where you are.
me: Ok, well at least it's warm in here.

Dispatch: Can you describe the person? me: Nope, it's too dark.

Dispatch: Do you know the aparment number?
me: Nope sorry.

*thinking* I don't live in that one... and I'm not about to walk over and check, that's why I called you guys.

Dispatch: Which side of the complex is it on?
me: Well it's on the right when you drive in...
Dispatch: *prompting* East? North?
me: *visualizing Google maps* looking at the palm trees trying to get my bearings and muttering under my breath "Never Eat Shredded Wheat" East! It's on the east side of the complex. *phew*

So much for relaxing, with skill testing questions like these.

I honestly don't know why they can't follow the damn instructions, turn right when you come in. I know a lot of guys who use compass directions all the time and that's great, admirable even, but I don't think in compass directions. So any that I give you are translated, and I'm pretty sure the chance of an error goes up tenfold under duress.

So dispatch has me meet the squad car out front and direct him to the apartment,  at which point he casually radio's in "yeah, I think it's the same one from earlier today"...

The helicopter was still doing loser laps over our complex, and it was clear after the third squad car arrived that they didn't have anything more important going on...

Anyways, turns out it's this bipolar chick who used to live here... like 3 months ago. Her ex has moved out, changed the locks, and shut off all the utilities, and even obtained a restraining order but every once in awhile she forgets, decides she lives there again and breaks in... Apparently this will be the third time.

The disappointing part though, was that despite their record response time, we were the third call in that day... So even with this unfolding in the same way it usually does, I guess they can't *do* anything until she has broken in again?

Which just seems kind of silly to me. What happened to "keeping the peace"?