This conversation actually happened.

Yes Virginia, in America we protect against germs tranferred by toilet seats.  Welcome to the 21st century.

Me: "Okay, so I get that you pull up and then down to get the toilet tissue out of the little box thingee... but how do people rip the middle part out, and flip it in the right direction and get it on so fast!? I mean what if you gotta pee really bad?!"

Her: "Um wow."
        "Oh Canadian." *shakes head* (I'm sure that's what happened)
         "Well, I don't know about most people... but I just kind of just put it down..."

Me: *incredulous* "With..out ripping the middle bit out? But..." *tilts head*

Her: "Well, yeah I put it down and sit on it... and the weight of the pee just magically goes through it somehow"
        *heh* "I dunno, I never really thought about it"

Me: "Hm."
       "I don't think I like that."

Me: "How are you supposed to know this stuff anyways?! I feel like Stallone's character in Demolition man and the three shells in the bathroom thing"

Her: *giggles* "I dunno! I mean, it's not like anyone ever sat *me* down and said 'this is how you do this' I just kind of figured it out I guess"