Wednesday, February 15, 2012

How to say "I wove you" in puppy dog

It's Valentines day, and I find myself literally surrounded by loving puppy dogs. If they could talk, I'm sure they would have plenty to say.  I'm sure it would be along the lines of "Oh how I love youuuooouuuoouuuuu" ...let me show you all the ways...

That extra secret ingredient that makes everything taste so much better? It isn't love... it's dog hair. And while it may be a condiment in this house, it also works nights as a fashion designer that can help you accessorize *every* outfit you own.  And for that little something extra special, you should try the faux fur look, there's nothing quite like a basset hound wrapped around you!

I will pour myself horizontally into your lap or nudge my head under your arm when I think you aren't paying attention.

I will patiently sit and watch you, even when I don't know what you're doing just because I want to be with you. The fact that you're in the kitchen preparing something that *might* be food, has nothing to do with it.

I will help you clean up around the house, you know food on the floor... pizza on the table... roast beef on that pan that was *totally* going to fall onto the floor... I'm just sayin'

I will let you blame stinky farts on me, and put on my best "What?!?" face when everyone looks at me instead of you.

I will leave you little reminders of how much I love you, kind of like sticky notes... except well I can't write, so I hope you know what I mean when you find one of my dog hairs.

I will not get jealous of that black boxy thing that takes up your entire lap, I still fit.

When you've done something stupid... I will be morally supportive, and I will console you by licking whatever bare skin I can reach, even if it's your butt crack. I love you that much.

And just in case you still don't know how much I love you, I'll give you "The ear kiss"... after a big ole drink of water.