Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Call me up out of the blue just to chat

Don't ask me why we don't talk anymore and tell me "Because that's not like us". I've called and left messages to the point of being that weird guy you have to give your number to for something else who never stops calling. Hell I've even talked to you in the middle of something and you've said "Hey I'm in the middle of something let me call you back"... not a problem. Only you never call back.

I don't think there is any way to say this that doesn't make me sound bitter, but we don't talk anymore because you have more important things in your life than me right now. I know you're happy, and I'm glad for that, I would never wish it otherwise. But I miss you.

There are some people you can decide, hey I don't need you in my life, do what you gotta do if we have a chance to hang out and spend time together great, if not maybe next time. Some people though, you don't consciously get to make that choice... because at the end of the day they're the person you want to talk to.

When you get a 9 cent raise at work, or have a great one night stand, or you try something new that you've never tried before that really isn't a big deal, or you get up and give a speech... but it's something they understand about you, they're the only person that will already know where you've come from to get this far.

The worst of it is, I can't get mad at anyone... this isn't anyone's fault, things change, people grow together, people grow apart, some people change. Getting mad at them doesn't fix it, it just makes me feel guilty for getting mad at them. And really, no matter how ambivalent my feelings are, when they finally get ahold of me they're still someone I want to talk to.

And just so you know that
"When you think of me out of the blue, it's all those hugs and kisses finally catching up with you."