Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Quicker than you

Oh man I can't believe I totally forgot to tell you about this, I mean I know I was tired and all... but seriously!

I know this seems a little off track, but it will help clarify, or maybe even shed some light on the rest of this crazy post. Or maybe not *shrugs*, you decide.

Q: How do you tell the difference between black bear droppings and grizzly bear droppings?
A: Grizzly bear droppings have little bells in them, and smell like pepper spray.
So, last night as I'm pushing my bike up the hill along the flat bit just before my place, these two teenage boys ride by... the one does a dirt jump off the bank next to me and the other slams on his brakes, skids to a stop beside me, and I kid you not says:

"Duuuuuuuuuude! Sweeeeeeet bike!" he then proceeded to point and go "Wow that's crazy! Is that your rear shock?!"

Me: I experienced a proximity loss of minus 50 IQ points, and was all "Uhhm no... that's my bear spray"...

*Then* he says to me... "So uhhhh, what is it?... Your gearshift injector? Does it make you go faster?!?"

I should have said: "Yeah it makes you go faster, as long as you don't get it in your eyes... and as long as you're faster than the bear that'll be chasing you now that you're all covered in seasoning" ;)

Thankfully I was rescued from answering as his buddy came back, jumped the bank in the opposite direction and promptly took out the neighbors garbage can.  They were gone with a wave and a "gotta go!"... faster than that 5 extra minutes after you hit the snooze button.

This is the joke behind the title...


There are two guys out in the back 40 on an acreage deep in the interior of BC, and they hear a hungry grizzly bear. The one guy sits down and starts lacing up his running shoes. The other guy says "Dude, what are you doing?! You think you can outrun a grizzly bear? Ha!" To which he replies, I don't have to outrun a grizzly bear...

I just have to outrun you.

Heh. *grins*